Glory

Where is the glory? I loved times in the past when God's presence could be tangibly felt, when a mere whiff of His glory filled a room and knocked me off my feet.

Life was good then, it was easy to have faith in God, to believe that He was good and loved me and was all-powerful.

But, where is the glory now?

Mental health issues, other significant life events I could do without, and now the coronavirus. The UK is (finally) on something of a lockdown, suddenly my weekly online shop at Asda has gone out of the window because everyone else now wants to shop online, and life feels very uncertain.

I've seen other people suffering on the television: Syria, Yemen, Iraq, UK flooding victims, people who've lost everything. But somehow it was far away and couldn't touch me, it would never happen to me.

Today life feels overwhelming with mental and physical ill health, job insecurity and now the danger of coronavirus when I'm suddenly one of the vulnerable.

I don't like it. I'm scared. Where is the glory now? I want God to come striding in and sort it all out, to make the virus go away, and bring peace and stability back into my life again.

But maybe this path for now needs to be stony and harsh. It's tough and I don't like it.

The path to glory always goes through suffering. Even Jesus couldn't have the glory without suffering first. He's promised not to abandon me and to provide for my needs. Do I have faith for this? I hope so; a tiny bit will do.

Glory follows suffering as surely as sunshine follows rain and spring follows winter.

So come on, girl, trust Him. Glory is just around the corner.

Direction

After a very long break, I have decided to start taking part in Five Minute Friday again. This is an online community where we each write for five minutes on a weekly topic.

This week's topic is DIRECTION.

A little over two years ago, my life fell apart as I broke into what felt like a thousand pieces. Life would never be the same again and I am still working on coming to terms with it.

One day I was happy in a job I loved, busy in church and other ministries, and researching to write a book.

Then a traumatic memory that I'd blocked out from the past came back to haunt me. Everything changed; the direction of my life changed dramatically.

The last couple of years have been the toughest I have ever had to face. For a long time I was angry with God, regularly demanding that He 'just annihilate me!' Life didn't seem to be worth living.

But I feel I've finally turned a corner. There's still a long way to go. I have real hope that there might be light at the end of this tunnel.

And I have tentative faith in God that He is directing my life and maybe - just maybe - He might possibly have a purpose in all of this. I don't want my suffering to be for nothing. I don't know where He's headed but, today (and it might change tomorrow), I can trust that He knows.