Celebrate the Hurting

 

I have always found Mother's Day difficult, and more so in recent years. I know many women who also find it difficult for various reasons: mums without their child, daughters and sons without their mum, people with memories of an abusive mum, women without children because of infertility or singleness, etc.

As a child, I felt inadequate on this Day because my mother actively discouraged me from treating her to breakfast in bed or of acting any different to usual. She was very controlling and preferred always to do things her way, irrespective of what any well-meant action on this Day represented.

I was an avid reader from a very young age and having read about a little girl buying her mum a blue glass vase for Mother's Day I resolved to do the same. I was so little that I had to ask my dad to get it. He was a good dad but definitely a product of his generation so I wasn't allowed to go and choose it with him and while he asked me what kind of vase I had in mind, he evidently didn't listen because he came back with a beige and brown pot affair with hideous red splodges on it. I was disappointed but not surprised. He wasn't being mean, it was just how things were. My mother seemed pleased with it, however. She was never keen on chocolates, flowers or smellies so could be challenging to buy for.

Since Adi and I discovered we couldn't have children and then miscarrying our tiny twins nearly fifteen  years ago, I have struggled with Mother's Day. Advertisers always seem to assume everything is hunky-dory and make no provision for heartache, loss and empty arms,

Thinking of all this, this morning I wondered what God thinks about Mother's Day. I was reminded that He heals the broken-hearted and binds up our wounds. And the Father comprehends exactly the heartache caused in losing a beloved child. 

So today I celebrate the hurting women. 

God on Mute

I imagine there aren't many books dealing authentically with the pain and crushing disappointment of unanswered prayer.

God on Mute by Pete Greig is necessary.

I first read it a few months after my life changed abruptly following the re-emergence of long-buried traumatic childhood memories. I'd suffered through a year of mental health issues, grief, anger, huge loss and loneliness. I was raging at God and wondered if I'd lost my faith, indeed whether it was even worth having faith in Him.

Then I got hold of this book.

When you feel you're broken into a thousand pieces and fragile, this is a safe book to read. Pete doesn't gloss over pain with well-meaning platitudes. He knows how it feels. He goes to dark places and looks at the difficult questions.

I found this book so helpful and healing. It's one I keep coming back to and each time I get more out of it.

It is split into four sections, based on the traumatic events at the end of Jesus' life:

• Maundy Thursday: How Am I Going To Get Through This?
• Good Friday: Why Aren't My Prayers Being Answered?
• Holy Saturday: Where Is God When Heaven Is Silent?
• Easter Sunday: When Every Prayer Is Answered.

Pete writes in a balanced, gentle, real way. He believes in miracles; he's seen God do some truly amazing things within and through the 24/7 prayer movement. But he also knows there are times when God is silent and the much-needed, longed-for miracle doesn't happen. What then?

If you are struggling with horrible circumstances, angry with God for being silent and not coming through for you, I highly recommend this book.

I've awarded it 5* though it's easily worth twice that.