10 January 2020


After a very long break, I have decided to start taking part in Five Minute Friday again. This is an online community where we each write for five minutes on a weekly topic.

This week's topic is DIRECTION.

A little over two years ago, my life fell apart as I broke into what felt like a thousand pieces. Life would never be the same again and I am still working on coming to terms with it.

One day I was happy in a job I loved, busy in church and other ministries, and researching to write a book.

Then a traumatic memory that I'd blocked out from the past came back to haunt me. Everything changed; the direction of my life changed dramatically.

The last couple of years have been the toughest I have ever had to face. For a long time I was angry with God, regularly demanding that He 'just annihilate me!' Life didn't seem to be worth living.

But I feel I've finally turned a corner. There's still a long way to go. I have real hope that there might be light at the end of this tunnel.

And I have tentative faith in God that He is directing my life and maybe - just maybe - He might possibly have a purpose in all of this. I don't want my suffering to be for nothing. I don't know where He's headed but, today (and it might change tomorrow), I can trust that He knows.


  1. Memories can knock us for a loop.
    I've had some of mine do that.
    I can testify that in God's time all will work for your good.
    Have patience to wait on Him.

    1. Thanks for your encouragement Leslie.

  2. Joy, I've been there too. It wrecked years.

    This sonnet is for you.

    Set a torch to history,
    set light unto the span
    that is the path to memory
    and orders Who I Am,
    for I am not my yesterdays,
    and they are not my heart
    when they block the role God plays
    in giving me fresh start.
    Give the pictures to the flame,
    and scribbled journals, too
    until they in mere ash remain
    that nothing can undo.
    Burn the past to fallow ground
    and hear no guilt, no, not a sound.