Glory

Where is the glory? I loved times in the past when God's presence could be tangibly felt, when a mere whiff of His glory filled a room and knocked me off my feet.

Life was good then, it was easy to have faith in God, to believe that He was good and loved me and was all-powerful.

But, where is the glory now?

Mental health issues, other significant life events I could do without, and now the coronavirus. The UK is (finally) on something of a lockdown, suddenly my weekly online shop at Asda has gone out of the window because everyone else now wants to shop online, and life feels very uncertain.

I've seen other people suffering on the television: Syria, Yemen, Iraq, UK flooding victims, people who've lost everything. But somehow it was far away and couldn't touch me, it would never happen to me.

Today life feels overwhelming with mental and physical ill health, job insecurity and now the danger of coronavirus when I'm suddenly one of the vulnerable.

I don't like it. I'm scared. Where is the glory now? I want God to come striding in and sort it all out, to make the virus go away, and bring peace and stability back into my life again.

But maybe this path for now needs to be stony and harsh. It's tough and I don't like it.

The path to glory always goes through suffering. Even Jesus couldn't have the glory without suffering first. He's promised not to abandon me and to provide for my needs. Do I have faith for this? I hope so; a tiny bit will do.

Glory follows suffering as surely as sunshine follows rain and spring follows winter.

So come on, girl, trust Him. Glory is just around the corner.

God on Mute

I imagine there aren't many books dealing authentically with the pain and crushing disappointment of unanswered prayer.

God on Mute by Pete Greig is necessary.

I first read it a few months after my life changed abruptly following the re-emergence of long-buried traumatic childhood memories. I'd suffered through a year of mental health issues, grief, anger, huge loss and loneliness. I was raging at God and wondered if I'd lost my faith, indeed whether it was even worth having faith in Him.

Then I got hold of this book.

When you feel you're broken into a thousand pieces and fragile, this is a safe book to read. Pete doesn't gloss over pain with well-meaning platitudes. He knows how it feels. He goes to dark places and looks at the difficult questions.

I found this book so helpful and healing. It's one I keep coming back to and each time I get more out of it.

It is split into four sections, based on the traumatic events at the end of Jesus' life:

• Maundy Thursday: How Am I Going To Get Through This?
• Good Friday: Why Aren't My Prayers Being Answered?
• Holy Saturday: Where Is God When Heaven Is Silent?
• Easter Sunday: When Every Prayer Is Answered.

Pete writes in a balanced, gentle, real way. He believes in miracles; he's seen God do some truly amazing things within and through the 24/7 prayer movement. But he also knows there are times when God is silent and the much-needed, longed-for miracle doesn't happen. What then?

If you are struggling with horrible circumstances, angry with God for being silent and not coming through for you, I highly recommend this book.

I've awarded it 5* though it's easily worth twice that.